我很努力也很辛苦

我很讨厌自己总是这样。。我可以再做选择吗？？我真的很想哭！！
我可以不要管一切的事吗？哭泣或许是我唯一能发泄的方法。。我偏偏就是不想在她们面前哭。
我什么时候才能变得更坚强。。没心情已经不是第一天了。。

我的成绩并不如意，怎么办？
没关系，我还没用尽我的力量去打败它，不可以就这样认输！！！
我不奋气，我会抗议到底！！
我不相信我打不倒它。。哼！！！
我会加油的~干巴爹！！
阿扎~fight-ing。。
哈哈。。。

I dreamed last night,even it is a happy dream,but for me,it's a horror dream..
I dreamed that my grandma who past away for many years ago..I don't even see her when she has last breath..
In my dream,she combed and tied my hair during the preparation of my wedding dinner..I married an indian man and i wearing the traditional dress of indian(sari) for my wedding dinner..
In my dream,i do not ready to get marry with that man,and i cried for it the whole day,then grandma hugging me and tell me story,after listening her story,i cried loudly in her hugging..I missed her so much...
This is the worst dream i ever had..

Oh gosh,chinese new year is coming soon which bump to the valentine day in a very coincident unexpectation..This year valentine day will be the black valentine again for me..
I have never been going through the valentine day with anyone else before..
It is the worst date for me and it is sucks..
I tried my best to make things right,but it seems like nothing to be done here.. It makes me feel hopeless towards myself,many of my friends said that i am too looking down to myself instead of having full confidence to face any problems that come upon me..
Damn sucks...Shits happen anywhere and anytime without knowing of people..